Is your software mouse driven?

Caller: Is your software mouse driven?
Tech Support: Yes, you need a mouse to use our software
Caller: Great, where can I buy a mouse?
Tech Support: Google it, and find one online
Caller: I can't, i dont have a mouse!
Tech Support: You can use your keyboard
Caller: I don't have one of those either!

How's my car doing?

Caller: Hi, can you tell me how my car is doing? Is it ready to pick up now?
Tech Support: Sorry, i think you have the wrong number - we are a software company
Caller: Ok, who can tell me how my car is going?
Tech Support: A Garage probably. Best give them a call.
<Puts phone down>
<Phone rings again - same number>
Caller: Hi, is that the garage?
Tech Support: Yes, bad news for you - your car's been scrapped!

Tech Support, now solve car problems

Wife of boss phones up and says she's got in her car, started it up - and theres a warning light on the dashboard.

Boss (in a panic) asks Tech support team to search on the web for the handbook for the car, and work out what the warning means, based on what his wife is telling him.

Tech support discovers what the problem is - It's the light that tells you the handbrake is on!

Boss is embarrassed and walks out of office, still on phone to wife - presumably to have a go at her, and tell her to not be so stupid! 

Another happy customer!

Interview gone wrong

Interviewer: How do you get to the event log in Windows XP?
Interviewee: I dont know what that is but i know all there is to know about windows. Windows 9 has just come out (note, windows 8 has just come out!!)
Interviewer: hangs up in disgust

Chimney Sweep

Tech support: Hello, how can I help you
Old woman:  Do you do chimney sweeps?
Tech Support: Errr, no i think you have the wrong number
Old Woman: No, i dont - i need a chimney sweep for a wedding
Tech Support: I really think you have the wrong number, we are a software company
Old Woman: So you dont do them then?
Tech Support: NO.